From: lrthomp at mindspring.com <lrthomp>
Date: Tue, 18 Mar 2008 23:08:46 -0400

This discussion couldn't be timelier for us at my son's pubic elementary school in Brooklyn. A number of parents, plus the guidance counselor and principal, are initiating an anti-bullying/anti-bias program in response to a growing problem with bullying behavior, both physical and emotional. We created separate surveys for children, teachers, and parents to fill out anonymously, and the response was sobering. So many children (and adults) have been targets or witnesses, but there was no community sense that this is a real problem that needs urgent attention. Well, now there is.

Our hope, with what we're calling Project Respect, is to get students, teachers, and parents to get on board a program that will help everyone to feel safer. Essentially we want to start changing the tone of the school. We'll have to do this sensitively and carefully, since there will be those in each group who will feel unfairly blamed for the problem. Rather than just beef up the discipline side (clearer prohibitions, clearer consequences, more consistently applied), the research we've read suggests that we must also talk about and model desirable behavior -- from calm conflict resolution to plain old kindness to standing up for oneself to asking for help -- and reward it. We also feel that it's important to help all the kids express their needs more appropriately, whether they are targets, witnesses, or perpetrators (or any combination thereof). And since we're talking about elementary age kids, adults need to know what crosses the line, and how to deal with it, so that k
 ids know they can turn to the adults to help them. (That's important in older schools, too, but it should be an especially prominent aspect of an elementary school, and it hasn't been here.)

What does this have to do with books? Um, everything. For the short term, (i.e. for this spring) we're hoping to have a book about bullying added to the school's Book of the Month program, in which all classrooms are reading the same book together. We'll probably go with "Nobody Knew What to Do," which isn't great literature, but because it is a story, it's a great discussion starter for many ages. (We might have used "Recess Queen," except that it was one of the books-of-the-month last year.) But for next year, we're hoping to recommend books specific for each grade that the teacher could read with the kids. And that's where this discussion has been invaluable. Ideally, I'd like to ask each teacher to share (at least) two books with their students over the year, tied to the project: one that depicts bullying behavior and how to address it, and one that addresses the value of respect, or the difference that one courageous person can make, or other themes that help build a civ
 il society. Ideally.

Already there have been some grumbles that kids will be kids, let them work it out, they need to toughen up for middle school, etc. But I'm reminded of my son's childcare's policy about biting: It's expected, but not accepted. Same goes for bullying.

Keep the recommendations (and experiences and insights) coming!

Lauren Thompson Brooklyn, NY who is doubtless in for a rude shock when her son starts middle school next year

Author of Polar Bear Night; The Apple Pie that Papa Baked; Ballerina Dreams: A True Story; Little Quack series etc
Received on Tue 18 Mar 2008 10:08:46 PM CDT