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[CCBC-Net] Books re bullies
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From: Santangelo, Michael <M.Santangelo>
Date: Tue, 18 Mar 2008 12:04:05 -0400
Great post.
I am wondering when the "blame the teachers" mentality will finally end--whether in its direct form or its passive aggressive form. And as much as I have sympathy for the anti-bullying movement, I do not want teachers to become martinets of the classroom, having to dictate approved speech and approved social arrangements to children at every moment. Maybe we need to come away from separating out childhood from the rest of life and finally admit to ourselves that childhood and adulthood are not as distinct as we would believe, and that our own children are not "other" but us. This may open up some better solutions to curb bullying than our present course to a sterile utopia.
Bullying does exist in adult life as well, n'est-ce pas?
--Michael
-----Original Message----- From: ccbc-net-bounces at ccbc.education.wisc.edu
[mailto:ccbc-net-bounces at ccbc.education.wisc.edu] On Behalf Of Monica Edinger Sent: Monday, March 17, 2008 4:37 PM To: Heather White Cc: ccbc-net at ccbc.education.wisc.edu; Queeline at aol.com Subject: Re: [CCBC-Net] Books re bullies
I'm a middle school teacher and have absolutely no wish to read Nineteen Minutes. I have plenty of firsthand experiences available in my memory to bring to my work with students. I think it is a disservice to teachers to suggest the majority ignore bullying situations and behaviors. That said, I do think that children coping with bullying can find solace through books.
However, children who know just how to make other children feel terrible one way or another are a reality of schools. And no matter how much we adults know about it doesn't necessarily mean we can stop it. I've had to deal with some very insidious situations involving mean children and, let me tell you, it can happen right in front of you. A few years ago I had a nasty situation in my classroom that involved some mean girls that went on all year. We talked and talked to the various kids. We isolated. We were firm. Parents tried. But the combustible combination of children (victims and bullies) made for a situation that only ended when the school year did.
The DVD of Mean Girls came out that fall and the central mean/most popular/hated/beloved/girl lent it to me. Not to be wicked, but just because she liked it and wanted to see if I would like it too.
(Bullies can be nice; they are never 100% horrors in my experience. Just complicated and usually unhappy for many good reasons that we in schools are not always able to fix.) However, I did sometimes think some of the resulting nastiness was set off by her and some of the other girls having seen the movie and getting off on playing some of the same sort of stuff out in our classroom.
Monica
Date: Tue, 18 Mar 2008 12:04:05 -0400
Great post.
I am wondering when the "blame the teachers" mentality will finally end--whether in its direct form or its passive aggressive form. And as much as I have sympathy for the anti-bullying movement, I do not want teachers to become martinets of the classroom, having to dictate approved speech and approved social arrangements to children at every moment. Maybe we need to come away from separating out childhood from the rest of life and finally admit to ourselves that childhood and adulthood are not as distinct as we would believe, and that our own children are not "other" but us. This may open up some better solutions to curb bullying than our present course to a sterile utopia.
Bullying does exist in adult life as well, n'est-ce pas?
--Michael
-----Original Message----- From: ccbc-net-bounces at ccbc.education.wisc.edu
[mailto:ccbc-net-bounces at ccbc.education.wisc.edu] On Behalf Of Monica Edinger Sent: Monday, March 17, 2008 4:37 PM To: Heather White Cc: ccbc-net at ccbc.education.wisc.edu; Queeline at aol.com Subject: Re: [CCBC-Net] Books re bullies
I'm a middle school teacher and have absolutely no wish to read Nineteen Minutes. I have plenty of firsthand experiences available in my memory to bring to my work with students. I think it is a disservice to teachers to suggest the majority ignore bullying situations and behaviors. That said, I do think that children coping with bullying can find solace through books.
However, children who know just how to make other children feel terrible one way or another are a reality of schools. And no matter how much we adults know about it doesn't necessarily mean we can stop it. I've had to deal with some very insidious situations involving mean children and, let me tell you, it can happen right in front of you. A few years ago I had a nasty situation in my classroom that involved some mean girls that went on all year. We talked and talked to the various kids. We isolated. We were firm. Parents tried. But the combustible combination of children (victims and bullies) made for a situation that only ended when the school year did.
The DVD of Mean Girls came out that fall and the central mean/most popular/hated/beloved/girl lent it to me. Not to be wicked, but just because she liked it and wanted to see if I would like it too.
(Bullies can be nice; they are never 100% horrors in my experience. Just complicated and usually unhappy for many good reasons that we in schools are not always able to fix.) However, I did sometimes think some of the resulting nastiness was set off by her and some of the other girls having seen the movie and getting off on playing some of the same sort of stuff out in our classroom.
Monica
-- Monica Edinger The Dalton School 108 East 89th Street New York NY 10128 monicaedinger at gmail.com my blog educating alice is at http://medinger.wordpress.com _______________________________________________ CCBC-Net mailing list CCBC-Net at ccbc.education.wisc.edu Visit this link to read archives or to unsubscribe... http://ccbc.education.wisc.edu/mailman/listinfo/ccbc-netReceived on Tue 18 Mar 2008 11:04:05 AM CDT
