From: Maia Cheli-Colando <maia>
Date: Mon, 17 Mar 2008 11:07:08 -0700

Thanks, Jackie!

Anyone want to comment on the proliferation of "defense skill" training that kids are receiving in schools these days, and how that parallels or diverges to literature? It's been on my mind this week as two neighborhood siblings (8 and 11) are learning Karate at school, and the younger one has been trying it out on everyone.

Yesterday I had to pull my kids out of the rowdy fray. As I said to my nine-year old daughter (who was sitting on her Karate-wielding friend), it's good to know that she can respond physically when it is appropriate
(as it was in this case) -- but it was awful for my five year old son, whom it made rather wild. The Karate kid (!) isn't a bully, mind you - he's a pest often, but a truly lovable child. But I can't see what an eight year old is likely to do with Karate, other than try it out on the neighborhood kids...

I understand a little better what they are thinking in teaching Karate to my niece, in the context of her all-girls middle school in Seattle. I'd be surprised if those particular girls were going home and attacking their friends, even in play... and by middle school, girls are needing to learn the shape of "no" somehow.

I just wonder if we are teaching one thing in books and another thing in defense class - the latter of which is quite popular in upper-educated families. Kids will catch the discrepancy.

Speaking of contrary messages, in fantasy, folks do fight back, and it's rarely posed as immoral. I wonder if that is part of the psychological outlet factor for both kids and adults in fantasy fic?

And... I think we really want to shy away from the term "bullies." Even using the term "bullying" is too broad for most folks to get a grasp on, and it's been downplayed enough in stories and common culture that folks dismiss bullying as part of growing up. Using specific language for specific behavior, and talking about what inspires that behavior, is likely to get us farther. I imagine that most of us have "bullied' someone at some point in our lives; I doubt that we consider ourselves
"bullies." I don't imagine that so-named "bullies" do either, which is likely to make any work targeted at them slide right on by.

Cheers, Maia

Queeline at aol.com wrote:
>
> I was working at Golden Books when Mercer Mayer submitted his manuscript for
> his Little Critter picture book on the subject, JUST A BULLY. Even in-house
> there was plenty of discussion about whether we should publish. In it, Little
> Critter retaliates and hits back after being bullied.
>
> I just took a look at the customer reviews of the book on Amazon, and it's
> interesting--strong feeling on either side. Some say there is a time and place
> to defend oneself and are happy that Little Critter takes such action (after
> going to parents, teacher, etc. didn't work). Others argue that this is not
> the message we want to be sending to kids.
>
> Now as then I'm torn. I agree that it's not something we really want to
> teach. But I also saw Mercer's point. Books that over-simplify kids' options
> don't really help them to cope either.
>
> Perhaps the best solution for a young kid struggling with such problems is
> to provide a book like JUST A BULLY as well as one like RECESS QUEEN, and to
> use them together as opportunities for discussion.
>
> Jackie Glasthal
>
Received on Mon 17 Mar 2008 01:07:08 PM CDT