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The Real Me
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From: Maia Cheli-Colando <maia>
Date: Thu, 21 Jul 2005 15:35:00 -0700
Amy Tsaykel wrote:
If it is, it shouldn't be. We aren't anywhere near equality yet. As Ciara (6) said this morning, "Boys get more attention." It hasn't been until recently that she has seen this face-to?ce (she is a homeschooler), and it has been something of a surprise, I think. No matter how much time we might spend talking through historical and current gender and race issues, it remains somewhat abstract until it is right in your face. (Literally.)
Our culture teaches young boys that they are entitled to more, and that sense of entitlement wears on through adulthood. And girls are expected to do more.... everything from behaving better as children to being supermoms when grown.
I will probably be teaching Girl Science classes at our local Natural History Museum this year. I would have rather not split the genders... but I can't quite figure out how else to address problems we are seeing. I look at my son, my daughter, and I want to cry with frustration... it isn't in either of their interests, son or daughter, to have the gender-rights so uneven, divided and peculiar.
As far as gender-identification goes, it comes into place as children become conscious of me, not-me, was-me and will?-me... there is no gender-inborn love of pink! Instead, as children become articulate, and able to understand themselves in relation to others, they strive to grow towards what we -- adults -- want of them. It's instinctual; kids must mature, and so they are wired to look to human models for clues on how to survive and grow. My son (2) loves dolls, and dresses, and dropping 4 pound weights off the tabletop... Is he less a boy in a blue silk dress? It doesn't occur to him now, but he will have to address culture's expectations as he grows, and we will all lose for it. Already my daughter (6) is intensely aware of social dynamics, and spends significant time processing what it means to be a woman. The media, even the limited amount she is exposed to, wreaks havoc. And women wearing idiotic heels that make them teeter as they walk are worse... she sees that and wonders... why? What does it mean for me?
Maia
p.s. This week I watched the National Geographic DVD on China's Lost Girls. I first learned about the one-child policy in high school... now, twenty years later, many acquaintances and some friends have adopted girls from China. The video made interesting points about the impact of gender imbalance on China, now and yet to come... I also wondered about the gender imbalance in the States. E.g. if millions of girls are adopted from China, then you have millions more Chinese native girls in America than Chinese native boys... how will that effect gender relations as they grow? Is anyone in children's/ya literature writing about this?
Received on Thu 21 Jul 2005 05:35:00 PM CDT
Date: Thu, 21 Jul 2005 15:35:00 -0700
Amy Tsaykel wrote:
If it is, it shouldn't be. We aren't anywhere near equality yet. As Ciara (6) said this morning, "Boys get more attention." It hasn't been until recently that she has seen this face-to?ce (she is a homeschooler), and it has been something of a surprise, I think. No matter how much time we might spend talking through historical and current gender and race issues, it remains somewhat abstract until it is right in your face. (Literally.)
Our culture teaches young boys that they are entitled to more, and that sense of entitlement wears on through adulthood. And girls are expected to do more.... everything from behaving better as children to being supermoms when grown.
I will probably be teaching Girl Science classes at our local Natural History Museum this year. I would have rather not split the genders... but I can't quite figure out how else to address problems we are seeing. I look at my son, my daughter, and I want to cry with frustration... it isn't in either of their interests, son or daughter, to have the gender-rights so uneven, divided and peculiar.
As far as gender-identification goes, it comes into place as children become conscious of me, not-me, was-me and will?-me... there is no gender-inborn love of pink! Instead, as children become articulate, and able to understand themselves in relation to others, they strive to grow towards what we -- adults -- want of them. It's instinctual; kids must mature, and so they are wired to look to human models for clues on how to survive and grow. My son (2) loves dolls, and dresses, and dropping 4 pound weights off the tabletop... Is he less a boy in a blue silk dress? It doesn't occur to him now, but he will have to address culture's expectations as he grows, and we will all lose for it. Already my daughter (6) is intensely aware of social dynamics, and spends significant time processing what it means to be a woman. The media, even the limited amount she is exposed to, wreaks havoc. And women wearing idiotic heels that make them teeter as they walk are worse... she sees that and wonders... why? What does it mean for me?
Maia
p.s. This week I watched the National Geographic DVD on China's Lost Girls. I first learned about the one-child policy in high school... now, twenty years later, many acquaintances and some friends have adopted girls from China. The video made interesting points about the impact of gender imbalance on China, now and yet to come... I also wondered about the gender imbalance in the States. E.g. if millions of girls are adopted from China, then you have millions more Chinese native girls in America than Chinese native boys... how will that effect gender relations as they grow? Is anyone in children's/ya literature writing about this?
Received on Thu 21 Jul 2005 05:35:00 PM CDT
