From: Nancegar_at_aol.com <Nancegar>
Date: Thu, 30 Jun 2005 10:18:59 EDT

Maia (at al)

I probably should have answered your post privately, and I almost did. I'm sorry! But now I guess we're having this conversation publically, with apologies to other ccbc folks, since we've strayed from a strictly literary discussion.

I'm afraid that what I said about Pride parades must have soubnded most unwelcoming, although i did say that everyone's welcome -- and believe me, that's true -- more than welcome, really! But given the history and given the battle for rights that is still going on and given the hell that many of us -- clearly yourself included!-- have gone through to come to the point where we can be out and proud, I'd hate to see Pride parandes NOT any longer be GLBT Pride parades, and not specifically celebrate GLBT pride, achievemenbts, struggle, etc.
 Your story is eloquent and you have been tremendously courageous; I admire you and respect you, as I admire and respect anyone who chooses to march in a Gay pride parade or watch it for whatever reason, public or private. All I'm saying is that I would hate to see the message diluted -- and perhaps you didn't intend to suggest that at all. Even when there's no need any more for a minoirty to struggle for its rights, surely there's nothing wrong with its celebrating its own history and achievements in its own way, certainly welcoming people uinlike themselves to join in (with no questions asked) -- but still being free to celerate its own uniquenes.

I don't want your children to face the same painful struggles you did either, nor do I want the GLBTQ kids I know (and don't know) to suffer similar pain. In Boston's Youth [GLBT] Pride parades, I'm sure there are plenty of straight kids; they actually predominate in some gay-straight alliances in high schools. So perhaps things are becoming more ecumenical than they seem, and that's good! Still, plenty of GLBT kids all over the country still need to know that it's okay for them to be who they are -- and Pride parades that acknowledge their specific identity can help them learn that. Non GLBT people who celebrate with them help them understand that they themselves are worthy of acceptance and respect.

It's great for all of us that so many straight kids now say that being gay is
"no big deal" to them! I suspect that knowing GLBT people who are out has helped lead kids to that point, and that that attitude will gradually spread at last. I think Gay Pride oarades are one of the things that have helped that happen (and have also in some cases had the opposite effect -- but that's another issue!)

Peace, Nancy

 ______________________________ Please visit my website at www.nancygarden.com Budding Writers: The Exercises, #2 is up!
Received on Thu 30 Jun 2005 09:18:59 AM CDT