From: Melody Allen <melody_allen>
Date: Thu, 12 Dec 2002 10:47:30 -0500

I need to raise some problems I am having with Dillon Dillon which has been so well received by reviewers and was mentioned here. I understand that people might appreciate the lyrical quality of this book and its human/nature interaction
(although I'd rate Jane Langton's Fledgling higher). I have trouble with some of the language and one of the basic guidelines to fiction writers - show, don't tell.


Here are a few passages that represent language that seems out of place:

p. 35 "When they'd lain lost in the tall grass..." p. 69p "The assault of heat had caused a great retreat of life." p.141 "August had made its usual frank entrance."

On p. 137 "...he was reminded of how parallel lives could be. How like his own life was that of the chick." I feel the author shouldn't have to tell us this - it should be evident.

I also thought the thread with the girl he meets returns at the end rather awkwardly. If she found his address at the end of the summer, why couldn't either one of them have found it earlier to get in touch?

I would appreciate more discussion on the strengths of this book and others mentioned. I appreciate when someone points out the reasons they felt a book is one of the best of the year. Thanks, Melody Allen

Melody Allen melody_allen at gw.doa.state.ri.us
Received on Thu 12 Dec 2002 09:47:30 AM CST