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Response to Tuesday's Tragedy
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From: Megan Schliesman <Schliesman>
Date: Thu, 13 Sep 2001 10:03:33 -0500
Like all of you, we here at the CCBC are struggling with our own thoughts and feelings about what happened on Tuesday as we try to continue with our work and our lives.
We don't necessarily want to disrupt the CCBC-Net discussion, yet we are aware that things don't necessarily just go on as usual. On the other hand, for some of us, continuing on is one of the ways we cope.
For any of us working with children and young adults, or with children of our own, the challenge of sorting out our own feelings is complicated by the need to help them with theirs.
We want to share some resources that were provided to us by a member of the CCBC's Advisory Board for helping kids in timesof stress.
In addition, today we received a question from a middle school librarian hoping we could suggest books to counter anti-Arab sentiment being expressed by some of the students at her school. The school is considering a school-wide reading. Our suggestions to her are also provided.
Helping Children Cope with Stress and Fear
http://www.PrepareRespondRecover.com/childrensneeds/
This page from PrepareRespondRecover.com. site contains material on children's needs and recognizing stress in children adapted by Dr. Karen DeBord, Child Development Specialist with North Carolina Cooperative Extension Service. The material came from the Stress and Coping with Disaster manual from University Extension in Columbia, Missouri developed during the Flood of 1993.
**************************************************** In response to the Columbine tragedy, Sesame Street Workshop developed a website,
"Tragic Times, Healing Words" website on helping children cope with disaster. The site is still a useful tool for parents and teachers.
***********************************************************
Cornell expert advises parents on how to help children cope with news of terrorist attacks FOR RELEASE: Sept. 11, 2001 Contact: Linda Grace-Kobas Office: 607%5B06 E-Mail: lg16 at cornell.edu
ITHACA, N.Y. -- James Garbarino, professor of human development and co-director of the Family Life Development Center at Cornell University, offers advice to parents on how they can help their children cope with the news of terrorist attacks that occurred today in the United States. He is a nationally recognized expert on child development and youth violence.
His statement follows:
The national disaster that befell us on Sept. 11, 2001, challenges all of us in many ways, some of which we will not recognize for days, weeks or months to come. One of these is the way children cope.
We have learned important lessons from our previous experiences with children coping with traumatic disasters -- wars (the Gulf War), natural catastrophes (e.g., earthquakes), school shootings (e.g., Columbine), and other terrorist acts (e.g., Oklahoma City).
Children in general will need reassurance that they and their loved ones are safe . Young children particularly will need words and actions to communicate calm and safety rather than anxiety and fear. The evidence is clear that children cope best when adults avoid being incapacitated by fear and anxiety. Trying to restore regular routines is important to reassure children that normal life will resume.
Children already coping with loss and fear will need special reassurance . Who are these children? They are children who have parents away from home, who are involved in a divorce, who are hospitalized, who have lost a loved one recently, or who in some other way are specially worried about issues of safety, stability and security. Everyone connected with these "at risk" children must make special efforts to offer physical, emotional and intellectual nurturing and support.
Children will need a chance to ask their questions and get factual information to dispel misperceptions and rumors that will arise due to their immature reasoning and knowledge . Adults should make themselves available to children to listen and then respond rather than just lecturing them on what adults think is important. Hear and see the world through the ears and eyes of children to know what to do to help them.
Parents and other adults will naturally tend to become preoccupied, anxious, and sad by the disaster, but they must guard against this where children are concerned. If adults are "psychologically unavailable," children will suffer. This is a major issue. The message to parents is clear: Don't become glued to the television and unavailable to your children when they need you most.
[Garbarino has worked with children, youth and families dealing with trauma and violence for more than 25 years, including in war zones around the world and in situations of community and family violence in the United States. He is the author of 18 books, including, most recently, Parents Under Siege: Why You Are The Solution, Not the Problem in Your Child's Life (New York: The Free Press, 2001).]
0-
EDITORS: To reach Garbarino contact Tammy Richards at (817) 243?00 (e-mail trpr at concentric.net).
************************************ And the following was prepared after the Columbine tragedy by an early Childhood Specialist:
Talking with Children When the Talking Gets Tough
Wars, shootings in schools, natural disasters, deaths at sporting events?as adults we hope that these and other tragic outcomes will never happen anywhere and definitely will not impact the children and youth we care about. We would like to protect those young minds from the pain and horror of difficult situations. We would like to ensure that they have happy, innocent, and carefree lives.
So what is a parent, teacher, or other caring adult to do when disasters fill the airwaves and the consciousness of society?
Don't assume that the kids don't know about it. They probably know more than you think. The reality of today's world is that news travels far and wide. Adults and children learn about disasters and tragedies shortly after they occur, and live video footage with close-ups and interviews are part of the report. Children and youth are exposed to the events as soon as they can watch TV or interact with others who are consumers of the news. Not talking about it does not protect children. In fact, you may communicate that the subject is taboo and that you are unavailable if you remain silent. Be available and "askable." Let kids know that it is okay to talk about the unpleasant events. Listen to what they think and feel. By listening, you can find out if they have misunderstandings, and you can learn more about the support that they need. You do not need to explain more than they are ready to hear, but be willing to answer their questions. Share your feelings. Tell young people if you feel afraid, angry, or frustrated. It can help them to know that others also are upset by the events. They might feel that only children are struggling. If you tell them about your feelings, you also can tell them about how you deal with the feelings. Be careful not to overwhelm them or expect them to find answers for you. Help children use creative outlets like art and music to express their feelings. Children may not be comfortable or skilled with words, especially in relation to difficult situations. Using art, puppets, music, or books might help children open up about their reactions. They may want to draw pictures and then destroy them, or they could want to display them or send them to someone else. Be flexible and listen. Reassure young people and help them feel safe. When tragic events occur, children may be afraid that the same will happen to them. Some young children may even think that it already did happen to them. It is important to let them know that they are not at risk?if they are not. Try to be realistic as you reassure them, however. You can try to support them and protect them, but you can not keep all bad things from happening to children. You can always tell them that you love them, though. You can say that, no matter what happens, your love will be with them. That is realistic, and often that is all the children need to feel better. Support children's concern for people they do not know. Children often are afraid not only for themselves, but also for people they do not even know. They learn that many people are getting hurt or are experiencing pain in some way. They worry about those people and their well being. In some cases they might feel less secure or cared for themselves if they see that others are hurting. It is heartwarming and satisfying to observe this level of caring in children. Explore ways to help others and ease the pain. Look for feelings beyond fear. After reassuring kids, don't stop there. Studies have shown that children also may feel sad or angry. Let them express that full range of emotions. Support the development of caring and empathy. Be careful not to encourage the kind of response given by one child: "I don't care if there's a war, as long as it doesn't affect me and my family." Help children and youth find a course of action. One important way to reduce stress is to take action. This is true for both adults and children. The action may be very simple or more complex. Children may want to write a letter to someone about their feelings, get involved in an organization committed to preventing events like the one they are dealing with, or send money to help victims or interventionists. Let the young people help to identify the action choices. They may have wonderful ideas. Take action and get involved in something. It is not enough to let children take action by themselves. Children who know that their parents, teachers, or other significant caregivers are working to make a difference feel hope. They feel safer and more positive about the future. So do something. It will make you feel more hopeful, too. And hope is one of the most valuable gifts we can give children and ourselves.
Distributed by: Judith A. Myers-Walls, Extension Specialist, Purdue University.
(Developed in the days following the shooting at Columbine High School and distributed via list serves, web pages, and handouts at programs)
Countering Anti-Arab Sentiment
The Space Between Our Footsteps: Poems and Paintings from the Middle East, selected by Naomi Shihab Nye. Simon & Schuster, 1998.
In addition to the poems themselves, which come from individuals in countries throughout the Middle East, representing the of that area and the humanity that binds us all, this book has a wonderful introduction in which Nye talks about the perceptions we have of the Middle East, and ALSO the perceptions they have about us. She writes, "I can't stop believing human beings everywhere hunger for deeper-than-headline news about one another. Poetry and art are some of the best ways this heartfelt 'news' may be exchanged."
This Same Sky: A Collection of Poems from Around the World, selected by Naomi Shihab Nye. Four Winds Press, 1992.
This is an international anthology, which includes poems from many countries including those in the Middle EAst.
Megan
Megan Schliesman, Librarian Cooperative Children's Book Center School of Education UW-Madison 608&2?03 schliesman at education.wisc.edu
Received on Thu 13 Sep 2001 10:03:33 AM CDT
Date: Thu, 13 Sep 2001 10:03:33 -0500
Like all of you, we here at the CCBC are struggling with our own thoughts and feelings about what happened on Tuesday as we try to continue with our work and our lives.
We don't necessarily want to disrupt the CCBC-Net discussion, yet we are aware that things don't necessarily just go on as usual. On the other hand, for some of us, continuing on is one of the ways we cope.
For any of us working with children and young adults, or with children of our own, the challenge of sorting out our own feelings is complicated by the need to help them with theirs.
We want to share some resources that were provided to us by a member of the CCBC's Advisory Board for helping kids in timesof stress.
In addition, today we received a question from a middle school librarian hoping we could suggest books to counter anti-Arab sentiment being expressed by some of the students at her school. The school is considering a school-wide reading. Our suggestions to her are also provided.
Helping Children Cope with Stress and Fear
http://www.PrepareRespondRecover.com/childrensneeds/
This page from PrepareRespondRecover.com. site contains material on children's needs and recognizing stress in children adapted by Dr. Karen DeBord, Child Development Specialist with North Carolina Cooperative Extension Service. The material came from the Stress and Coping with Disaster manual from University Extension in Columbia, Missouri developed during the Flood of 1993.
**************************************************** In response to the Columbine tragedy, Sesame Street Workshop developed a website,
"Tragic Times, Healing Words" website on helping children cope with disaster. The site is still a useful tool for parents and teachers.
***********************************************************
Cornell expert advises parents on how to help children cope with news of terrorist attacks FOR RELEASE: Sept. 11, 2001 Contact: Linda Grace-Kobas Office: 607%5B06 E-Mail: lg16 at cornell.edu
ITHACA, N.Y. -- James Garbarino, professor of human development and co-director of the Family Life Development Center at Cornell University, offers advice to parents on how they can help their children cope with the news of terrorist attacks that occurred today in the United States. He is a nationally recognized expert on child development and youth violence.
His statement follows:
The national disaster that befell us on Sept. 11, 2001, challenges all of us in many ways, some of which we will not recognize for days, weeks or months to come. One of these is the way children cope.
We have learned important lessons from our previous experiences with children coping with traumatic disasters -- wars (the Gulf War), natural catastrophes (e.g., earthquakes), school shootings (e.g., Columbine), and other terrorist acts (e.g., Oklahoma City).
Children in general will need reassurance that they and their loved ones are safe . Young children particularly will need words and actions to communicate calm and safety rather than anxiety and fear. The evidence is clear that children cope best when adults avoid being incapacitated by fear and anxiety. Trying to restore regular routines is important to reassure children that normal life will resume.
Children already coping with loss and fear will need special reassurance . Who are these children? They are children who have parents away from home, who are involved in a divorce, who are hospitalized, who have lost a loved one recently, or who in some other way are specially worried about issues of safety, stability and security. Everyone connected with these "at risk" children must make special efforts to offer physical, emotional and intellectual nurturing and support.
Children will need a chance to ask their questions and get factual information to dispel misperceptions and rumors that will arise due to their immature reasoning and knowledge . Adults should make themselves available to children to listen and then respond rather than just lecturing them on what adults think is important. Hear and see the world through the ears and eyes of children to know what to do to help them.
Parents and other adults will naturally tend to become preoccupied, anxious, and sad by the disaster, but they must guard against this where children are concerned. If adults are "psychologically unavailable," children will suffer. This is a major issue. The message to parents is clear: Don't become glued to the television and unavailable to your children when they need you most.
[Garbarino has worked with children, youth and families dealing with trauma and violence for more than 25 years, including in war zones around the world and in situations of community and family violence in the United States. He is the author of 18 books, including, most recently, Parents Under Siege: Why You Are The Solution, Not the Problem in Your Child's Life (New York: The Free Press, 2001).]
0-
EDITORS: To reach Garbarino contact Tammy Richards at (817) 243?00 (e-mail trpr at concentric.net).
************************************ And the following was prepared after the Columbine tragedy by an early Childhood Specialist:
Talking with Children When the Talking Gets Tough
Wars, shootings in schools, natural disasters, deaths at sporting events?as adults we hope that these and other tragic outcomes will never happen anywhere and definitely will not impact the children and youth we care about. We would like to protect those young minds from the pain and horror of difficult situations. We would like to ensure that they have happy, innocent, and carefree lives.
So what is a parent, teacher, or other caring adult to do when disasters fill the airwaves and the consciousness of society?
Don't assume that the kids don't know about it. They probably know more than you think. The reality of today's world is that news travels far and wide. Adults and children learn about disasters and tragedies shortly after they occur, and live video footage with close-ups and interviews are part of the report. Children and youth are exposed to the events as soon as they can watch TV or interact with others who are consumers of the news. Not talking about it does not protect children. In fact, you may communicate that the subject is taboo and that you are unavailable if you remain silent. Be available and "askable." Let kids know that it is okay to talk about the unpleasant events. Listen to what they think and feel. By listening, you can find out if they have misunderstandings, and you can learn more about the support that they need. You do not need to explain more than they are ready to hear, but be willing to answer their questions. Share your feelings. Tell young people if you feel afraid, angry, or frustrated. It can help them to know that others also are upset by the events. They might feel that only children are struggling. If you tell them about your feelings, you also can tell them about how you deal with the feelings. Be careful not to overwhelm them or expect them to find answers for you. Help children use creative outlets like art and music to express their feelings. Children may not be comfortable or skilled with words, especially in relation to difficult situations. Using art, puppets, music, or books might help children open up about their reactions. They may want to draw pictures and then destroy them, or they could want to display them or send them to someone else. Be flexible and listen. Reassure young people and help them feel safe. When tragic events occur, children may be afraid that the same will happen to them. Some young children may even think that it already did happen to them. It is important to let them know that they are not at risk?if they are not. Try to be realistic as you reassure them, however. You can try to support them and protect them, but you can not keep all bad things from happening to children. You can always tell them that you love them, though. You can say that, no matter what happens, your love will be with them. That is realistic, and often that is all the children need to feel better. Support children's concern for people they do not know. Children often are afraid not only for themselves, but also for people they do not even know. They learn that many people are getting hurt or are experiencing pain in some way. They worry about those people and their well being. In some cases they might feel less secure or cared for themselves if they see that others are hurting. It is heartwarming and satisfying to observe this level of caring in children. Explore ways to help others and ease the pain. Look for feelings beyond fear. After reassuring kids, don't stop there. Studies have shown that children also may feel sad or angry. Let them express that full range of emotions. Support the development of caring and empathy. Be careful not to encourage the kind of response given by one child: "I don't care if there's a war, as long as it doesn't affect me and my family." Help children and youth find a course of action. One important way to reduce stress is to take action. This is true for both adults and children. The action may be very simple or more complex. Children may want to write a letter to someone about their feelings, get involved in an organization committed to preventing events like the one they are dealing with, or send money to help victims or interventionists. Let the young people help to identify the action choices. They may have wonderful ideas. Take action and get involved in something. It is not enough to let children take action by themselves. Children who know that their parents, teachers, or other significant caregivers are working to make a difference feel hope. They feel safer and more positive about the future. So do something. It will make you feel more hopeful, too. And hope is one of the most valuable gifts we can give children and ourselves.
Distributed by: Judith A. Myers-Walls, Extension Specialist, Purdue University.
(Developed in the days following the shooting at Columbine High School and distributed via list serves, web pages, and handouts at programs)
Countering Anti-Arab Sentiment
The Space Between Our Footsteps: Poems and Paintings from the Middle East, selected by Naomi Shihab Nye. Simon & Schuster, 1998.
In addition to the poems themselves, which come from individuals in countries throughout the Middle East, representing the of that area and the humanity that binds us all, this book has a wonderful introduction in which Nye talks about the perceptions we have of the Middle East, and ALSO the perceptions they have about us. She writes, "I can't stop believing human beings everywhere hunger for deeper-than-headline news about one another. Poetry and art are some of the best ways this heartfelt 'news' may be exchanged."
This Same Sky: A Collection of Poems from Around the World, selected by Naomi Shihab Nye. Four Winds Press, 1992.
This is an international anthology, which includes poems from many countries including those in the Middle EAst.
Megan
Megan Schliesman, Librarian Cooperative Children's Book Center School of Education UW-Madison 608&2?03 schliesman at education.wisc.edu
Received on Thu 13 Sep 2001 10:03:33 AM CDT
