From: Maia <maia>
Date: Tue, 06 Apr 1999 09:53:54 -0400

Thank you, Monica. Reading your post was like a little lift of fresh air for me...

I have a very dear friend whose grandfather was a German nazi, SS. This friend of mine is possibly the "best" person I know, though I doubt she thinks of herself that way. She has a natural kindness and sensitivity and inclusiveness - not in a pat or saccharine sort of way, but genuine. Yet the few times I have heard her speak of her grandfather, there has been guilt and pain in her voice, as if somehow by sharing his blood she has shared his guilt.

As a granddaughter of immigrants, I know well that part of one's inheritance is what pain and confusion remained unresolved in the lives of previous family members. For this friend, I know that she has to find her own way through the guilt and suffering bequeathed to her, both so that she can live her own life more lightly, and so that she will not pass the burden on. And yet, I wonder how welcome her story would be, how well our diverse and inclusive community would empathize with her pain? Or is hers a story that is expected to remain politely unspoken? My roots in psychology warn that a grief repressed, suppressed, unspoken, is the most likely to live again...

I wonder if the children of criminals suffer as dearly as the children of victims? And is theirs a story worth telling? (And are we whole enough to hear it?)

Maia Cheli-Colando
Received on Tue 06 Apr 1999 08:53:54 AM CDT